So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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