My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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