And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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