I'm sorry my penis didn't work
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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