K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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