eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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