just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize