my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize