im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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