I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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