if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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