My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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