Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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