the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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