airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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