Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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