READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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