She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize