Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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