At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize