Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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