You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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