He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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