Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize