when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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