This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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