You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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