I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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