I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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