You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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