I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize