Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize