You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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