She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How naked do you want me to be?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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