I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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