I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize