my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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