shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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