I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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