How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize