don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize