Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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