I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize