There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize