True but thats because hes a fetus.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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