Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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