And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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