found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize