"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize