The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
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I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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